How Silence is a Doorway to Contemplation and Interfaith Friendship

When I was a boy, my family did not regard silence in a positive way. Indeed, we saw silence as a problem to be overcome. “She’s giving him the silent treatment,” was a phrase you might hear used to describe a relationship where conflict or anger had shut down communication. “They’re not speaking to one another.”

Such silence pointed to disease or death — a diseased relationship, or even a death of intimacy. One hoped that the problems that caused the silence would somehow get worked out. Unfortunately, tensions couldn’t be resolved unless someone broke the silence.

At its worst, the silent treatment could lead to a permanent death — as in a nasty divorce where only the lawyers are talking. Thankfully, this kind of oppressive silence is not the only form of silence available to us.

As I entered into adolescence and early adulthood, I discovered that I enjoyed silence as I found it in a variety of settings. I learned to relish the quiet time I would spend in nature, enjoying the speechless company of trees or the soft murmur of the never-ending surf.

Likewise, libraries and churches appealed to me because they were places where I could sit to enjoy only the company of my thoughts. Eventually I learned to let even the chatter of my mind slow down to almost a standstill. For me, these places became areas of refuge, havens away from the buzz, clamor and din of everyday life.